I have returned from 'the Florida', and now know why i never went there before. it's as though Georgia is a quadriplegic, and Florida is it's engorged, STD enriched penis.
The main problem with the beaches in 'the Florida' is the tourists. Herds of fat hairy people, with fake gold jewelry and farmers tans, drag their even fatter, though significantly less hairy and jewelry laden, children to what they feel are beautiful, sandy beaches. The only problem with that is, in the 'minds eye' sandy beaches are beautiful because they don't come with the mental imagery of fucking tourists. Everything is ruined now! That's it, sawed off shotgun in the mouth time.
Man, i love the ocean though. I love it i love it i love it. Since Rob and I were there in 'the Florida' to shoot a wedding video for persons of which we do not know, part of that process involves gathering footage of a 'non-wedding' nature for editing in at a later time. For example, clips of architecture, flowers, birds, or even, in this case, the ocean. People go nuts for that type of shit. Think 'Love Songs from the 60's, 70's, and 80's' commercials. All of them have an ocean setting in the background, though usually they also have some guy riding a horse down the coastline. I didn't have the guy, or the horse available, but i did have a coastline. And as i stepped out onto the beaches, in a button up shirt, jeans, socks AND shoes, i think to myself (aside from 'damn it's hot out here and i have to wear this shit...') i better be careful not to get wet. But i can't get the angle of the waves right. And i can't get all the kids shoving sand in each others' swimsuits out of the shot either. So i go further out, just as the sand is wet. The tide seems to have receded at this point, so i step out, trying to be light on my feet, and failing to do so, but i manage some good footage. I even grab a flock of pelicans flying over head in a nice 'wedding video pan of ocean waves to flying birds' shot, just as the tide spills all over and around my feet. The rest of the day was a miserable 'i have wet feet' day. Nice, but i did get to go in the ocean.
So, yes, i'm back in town (wippie, Canton), and what's the first thing I do? Fucking look at fucking blogs. Fucking hell.
I have, however, learned a few things about myself from other blogs in my absence.
1) Tink thinks i make excellent yummy spaghetti, which i do. The secret is cream cheese in the meat sauce.
2) Raymi thinks i look like 'Lex' from survivor. I have comments, to my defense, about this i will save for a later day...
3) The Unsomnabulist is having sexy sexy dreams about Bunny, and apparently, I, along with Tony Pierce, have cameos. Not, 'pornstar' cameos, but we're definitely(?) there...
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| K | Kinky |
| A | Awesome |
| T | Timeless |
| Z | Zonked |
| I | Irresistible |
| N | Naughty |
| J | Joyful |
| A | Arty |
| M | Misunderstood |
| M | Mesmerizing |
| E | Enchanting |
| R | Rich |
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
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a congratulations are in order for Rob and his wife who, at 11:30am yesterday, welcomed their third child, a son, into the world.
WAY TO HUMP ON THE OL' LADY, ROB!
Since Rob doesn't have any brothers, that leaves me to be the uncle from his side of the family. A dead beat, unemployed, in-and-out of jail uncle, but hey, i'm interesting, and those kids will never have a fear of the tattooed.
Tomorrow, around 5am, we leave for Jacksonville, FL (yes, the hometown of Fred Durst, bleh) to shoot a wedding. Business is business, and no burrito kid is going to stand in our way. This will make my first trip into that state, and why i've never been there before in the 13 or so years i've lived here is beyond me. Maybe it's all the horror stories i've heard about that place (i.e. spring break PCB! WOO HOO!) Or maybe since Scarface, Miami hasn't been the same...
It should be fun. Free foods, hotel room. Get to hang on the beach after the shoot, convince Rob to get roaring drunk with me, and remind him that i am not his wife, so back off little man.
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Today is Njosnavelin.
Today is driving around, listening to music, and watching people go about their lives. Today is floating around them, between them, and away from them.
Today is a day in the sun, and a retreat to the shade.
Today is eight bottles of water, a pack of cigarettes, and around dusk, PBR in the bottle.
Today is a certain something that is said and way you took it, well, it stayed with you warm and private.
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i came as ice
i came as a whore
i came as advice
and i came to shore.
i came as gold
i came as crap
i came clean
and i came as a rat.
it takes a long time
but god dies to
but not before
he sticks it to you.
Yes, in reality i wish i could do a video for them. Lend some vision, some ideas, attempt to give them a piece worthy of their impact upon me.
Instead i get five guys from Newnan, GA. You've already heard me bitch, so i'll spare you for now, and let you get on with the juicy juice.
Now, understand the following:
You, most likely, will not like the song. But it's not about them, now is it? This is something Rob and i did, so keep that shit in mind.
I've had three viewings of it already (four if you include the band themselves). All opinions ranged from utter distaste to complete enthusiasm. I would very much like to hear your opinions.
This was done out of a $700 budget. This was done out of kindness, and Rob broke his back putting it together, free of charge. He made sure Griff and I were paid and took the rest in the gut.
You need the latest version of Quicktime or you will not get sound!
And last, but not least, this is what they wanted.
Now if i haven't scared you off, enjoy, with my compliments.
P.S. thanks to M@ for letting me host it off of him for free.
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This years runner up...
the creator of this ride.
I know disney has been invloved in some scandal in the past (penis in the cover art for 'The Little Mermaid' for example) but never, ever, have they been so blatent in their perversion. This isn't the work of a disgruntled artist. This isn't a pothead having some stoner fun.
This is wrong.
But man is it funny.
Laugh. I am right now.
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i'm going to cry. Rob no longer harasses me in my comments.
mortal kombat not only was a shitty video game, but a shitty movie, with a shitty sequel.
free food tip i forgot about: Go into pizza place just as they're closing. For me and the greek that equaled two larges, on the house.
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I found an old box of photos, and dammit, i can't get the scanner to work. Film and blogs do not sync.
I've decided how to flee this place. A greyhound. Filled to the brim with smelly poor trash, just like me. Just think, bus load of people headed out to the mid-west. think about it. Worry. Scratch your head and mutter obscenities to yourself. I am. But i have a feeling it will be worth it.
Greyhound bus ticket = $79. $79 dollars to take me 1,304 miles in 1 day and 40 minutes of estimated travel time. On a bus for a day...
bad realization from looking at old photos of myself: I am not getting any younger.
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But these two (left, pacoblue and ermstilly) are going to be my companions. What more does Jaily need? besides a perfect bank heist, i mean, really. okay, maybe a pair of those glasses. nevermind, i got the J.Lo's...
Yeah, this is going to be great. I'm really looking forward to the move, and actually, i think SD will be interseting. I have no intention of staying the winter. -40 degrees. Right. Jody wrote me once, last year when winter was on it's way, stating that they only had 1 (one) degree to work with. it's a beautiful day. The high today is one..
Mode of transportation: Plane, train, automobile, bus, tractor, thumb, two feet, very large animal. hopefully all of those at different points in time.
I have my first probation meeting on Thursday. I really don't know what else to say about that. And for those of you curious about the sheriff, i never went back, and no, i didn't get the number. The point was in the asking, and on my deathbed i can say that at one point in my life i hit on a cop. some of you may wonder why on earth would anyone want to. That's your deal. I personally think it's awesome. I bet when she went for donuts with her buddies she felt perhaps she should mention it, or maybe keep it to herself. regardless, for a brief moment in time she wondered what the fuck just happened that soemone like me would hit on someone like her, at court, while she was on duty. Man bites dog.
I've been asking myself if i'm ready to go. Asking myself, "is there anything you want to do before you leave?" Not really. the little i do want to do is personal, and the rest, well, just proof that i'm ready to get the fuck out of GA. Most of my friends have bailed to other cities, other states. The ones i'll leave behind, by far my closest, will be on their way out soon enough. I guess it's good that i'm not being left behind, and maybe someday i can talk them into coming to me for a change.
I'm not sure where i'll be, but i'll leave the light on for you.
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i want to know if any of you are Harry Potter fans.
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I have got to find a way up to S.D.
I've been playing phone tag with the Human Resources chick at Household, the place that employs those who wish to work for the devil.
But i am told it shouldn't matter. They are desperate. And desperate people always hire me. And sometimes not so desperate people hire me as well. this just increases the chances.
Bunny and i made it to a top ten list of this guy's daily read. he mentioned that the blogs weren't nessicarily good, but he read them anyway. I came in number six, which is awesome, but maybe i'm on the shit side? NICKERBLOG
And for the life of me, i can't figure out if this guy is real, or he lies more than TONY. suburbianights regardless, he's interesting, and a good read. go matty h, fuck 'em up.
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My day at court goes a little something like this...
I enter the courthouse. My paper that tells me where to go gives me the choice of two different courtrooms. As i am sure that i can't actually choose where i am supposed to go, i walk over to the information desk.
Hi. I need to figure out which courtroom i'm supposed to be in.
Do you have any paperwork?
Yup. Here.
They were supposed to circle which room you were in, and they haven't done that.
i see.
*dramatic pause*
I find my courtroom by trial and error, asking various baliffs, etc. They have the rosters, and not the information desk. I sit down. a sheriff, a non-fat, non-bulldyke female sheriff asks me to remove my hat.
I now have the hair style equivilant of a homeless man who just got laid.
The judge enters. 'ALL RISE...' He begins to give his 20 minute introduction, explaining how he is going to 'move this right along'. Afterwards he call attendance. 'Hold up your hand and say here so i know you are here.'
5 hours , 3 recesses/smoke-breaks, and an hour lunch break later...
State vs. Shaun Katz, case number...
I walk over to the podiem.
mr. Katz, you're in front of me today on the charges of driving on a suspended license, no proof of insurance, and driving on an expired tag. Did you have insurance on the vehicle at the time?
No i did not.
Ok Mr. Katz, the state has reccomended that i drop the no insurance charge in lieu of the three days you spent in jail. On the driving on an expired tag charge the state asks you pay a $130 fine. On the driving on a suspended licnese the state also reccomends a fine of $130. Now that doesn't mean i have to take the states reccomendation. Now Mr. Katz, on this charge the maximum sentence is 2 years in jail and a $1050. I'm giving you this final chance of a jury trial. You have the right to a state appointed attorney. Do you wish to continue with your plea of guilty?
Eh hmm. Certainly.
*Dramatic pause*
The judge took the states reccomendation. He gave me $130 for the tag, and another $130 for the license, and $80 in court costs. He also gave me 1 year in jail, which means one year of probation, because "a year of probation is a year of jail you spend in the outside world." whatever that means... But he said that as soon as i pay the fine my probabtion ends. That could mean as soonas tomorrow if i just happen to rob a bank on my way home this afternoon.
So as i'm sitting in the jury booth awaiting my probabtion paperwork, the non-fat, non-bulldyke sheriff comes to escort me to the office where this is all going down. She escorts me. I think to myself, she's actually kind of cute.
We get to the room. She smiles and asks me to have a seat and someone will be with me in a moment.
I do. She asks me what the hell is on my arm (my tattoo). They always ask. everyone asks me that question. it's an ice breaker, and a tool of harassment depending on the quality of person asking.
I tell her.
I then ask her for Sgt. Miller for her phone number.
Sgt. Miller says it's unprofessional to do that while she's at work, but...
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For my birthday i give you ME, and a face.
I hate to confees that there are no entertaining stories of drunken behavior, or run-ins with the law, as i had so hoped there would be. Of course i had hoped those stories would concern my friends (i.e. me visiting them in the pokey), but we settled for a movie instead.
Earlier in the day i enjoyed a phone call from Bunny. she's in Boston learning the ways of DNA, and discovering her true identity from her gramps. Later i had the company of
None of us were in the mood for drinks, so we saw TROY. Lame, but it's Sunday in a dry state. The movie was lame. Pfff. some cool moments that didn't save it overall, but the scene where the extra in the background was ASLEEP was awesome. Can't believe that made the final cut...
Speaking of final cuts, i have court in about 5 hours. We shall see if i do the jail time, or if i get off like i hope, and was told, that i would be.
And last, but not least, i leave you with a screen cap from the video. It's the drummer, wearing the 'smoking helmet' i had to build. You guys got the smiley, now you get this.
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27
yes. i was born on this day in 1977, in Glendora CA, to a woman i have never seen since.
I share this day with the following:
Janet Jackson (maybe she'll flash me), Pierce Brosnan, Henry Fonda, Tori Spelling, to name a few.
the Greek and Kyle are coming to fetch me tonight. Along with Rob we should find ample ways to have a drunken good time.
Originally i had planned on reliving Bunny's birhtday with the minor alteration of actually remembering what we did, but as a typical female she skipped town a week early.
If you're reading this, you owe me one.
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This is what not spending 6 days in jail looks like...
...and by Monday afternoon, Johnny Law will have taken it away again. The way it works, put simply, is this: I have committed a felony crime of driving on a suspended license, twice now within 5 years, which puts me in the 'habitual offender' category. The punishment for this victimless crime is a mandatory 10 DAYS in jail. For some reason if i reinstate my license i won't have to spend the time, however, i will end up losing my license, again, and pay a fine.
Cool, i don't have a car anyways, so, sour grapes.
From the Unsomnabulist:Alas, I woke up this morning and shaved off the 'stache. Claire seemed relieved - she pretended to like it last night, but said I looked like a drug dealer. Normally, I'd take that as a compliment, but she's known real drug dealers, and the real ones aren't as cool looking as the ones on TV. I just thought I looked dastardly. For a moment I fancied the thought of being able to twiddle the ends of my moustache as I planned to rule the world.
I think i look like a terrorist in this photo. A poor terrorist, but definitely w/ ALLAH.
I may not actually be a terrorist, but if the US ever decides to colonize MARS after the terraform, all i can say is you had better join with me. I'll make it so that if you walk with me, you not only walk with a born and bred MARTIAN, but as one yourself. And who doesn't want that?
Leading into the weekend, we blogger types know that this is a slow time as far as an audience is concerned. So what better time to go deepfest than now? You want some shit to read, here it is.
I'm pissed.
i turn 27 on Sunday. 27 years old and my life is a disaster. About four years ago i had my shit together for the most part. I still fucked up from time to time as we all do, but i had a 'plan', and i was making good on that plan. my biggest fuck up is that i took a long shot on a girl who wanted me to believe in her. And she found me, the guy who wanted to believe that the life i had didn't always have to be as it was. i could change it. I didn't have to do it alone.
Perhaps you recall my mother's day post. Well, expect another on father's day. Do the math.
Then about two years ago she decided she didn't want to play any more, well, not with me anyways, and kept it from me for a year. That right there will fuck you up pretty good. Some of you know what i'm talking about, some of you know what that does. And some of you are responsible for doing that shit to some one who loves you.
i'm a passionate motherfucker. I know. I may be a procrastinator, i've been called 'inconsiderate', an 'asshole', a 'demon', 'criminal', a 'rapist', a 'dramatist'.
But when i love something, i love it with my all. That makes me tenfold in power over my critics. When i give it heart, never will you find a more powerful ally then I.
I have the balls to risk. I have the ability to live the unconventional, the ill-advised, the questionable, and the insane.
But that doesn't mean i exactly 'like' it, or 'enjoy' it. It just 'is'. And i intend to change that. And what i need for that is a clean slate.
Hence the move to S.D.
And as expected, i've drawn criticism over it.
i've been told brain busters such as "you can't just run from your problems. they'll follow you where ever you go."
No shit assholes. i'm not retarded. And i certainly am more intelligent than your fragile ego will ever admit. When any of you has taken a minimum of five steps in my shoes without the 'take for granted' safety net you have, them come see me.
I just cope different than you. I had to learn ulterior methods of dealing. I had to learn to be me and imitate you all at the same time. All this because i learned early on that if i were anything but, you would hate me, fear me, and in the end, walk.
So i'm moving. I want to be where i don't look over my shoulder. I want to be somewhere that i can be me without the past. And because of my past, i am able to do it.
Watch me.
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people always ask me 'Shaun, how do you know so much about the world?'
Isn't it obvious?
create your own visited country map
or write about it on the open travel guide
This needs to change...
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create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide
Notice how i've never been to florida? 13 years in Georgia and not once have i been there.
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Well, this sucks...
...and it took me and the greek two weeks to find out.
July 23, 1928 - April 26, 2004
Hubert Selby died often. But he always came back, smiling that beautiful smile of his, and those blue eyes of his so full of life. This time he will not be back. My saints have always come from hell, and now, with his passing, there are no more saints. The world is different. Yesterday, as he lay dying, the sky here in New York was dark and full of rain. Today it is the color of those eyes of his.
All that remained of his lungs was one piece like a small black stone that the doctors' X-rays could not penetrate. He had lived for most of his seventy-five years taking his breath with that small black stone. And he gave us so much with that blessed breath: not only his friends, but the whole world. Now the world is different, and we will have to breathe without him. Breath, spiration, inspiration, it is all the same; and that small black stone was a source of divinity. I imagined him living to a hundred because I wanted him to live to a hundred. After all, he had come this far with his small black stone unclaimed by death, it seemed that maybe death had forgotten him.
About a year ago, last spring, he wrote to me: "I dont know whats going on. It feels like I've forgotten how to write like i forget everything else. Everything has changed. cant breathe, cant stay awake, cant move much. Sometimes I sit and cry. My hearts broken by this whole thing. Ive worked very hard to learn how to write a simple line and have it mean something, and now I cant put what Ive learned to use. Obviously I'm asking life to be fair. Pretty funny, eh? But theres an element in my life now that I have not experienced in the past... being ashamed of my country. That really adds to the heart break. I too have thought of moving to Europe, but I cant now, it's too late. I can't breathe, cant walk much, plus my family is here. See what you did El Woppo, you got me all excited. Anyway, I love you my friend and am grateful for your life and all the beauty and insight that you have added to our ability to understand this human experience. A river derci, cubby."
Now it seems that he was saying good-bye. But there were more words after that. The last time he wrote to me, he asked if I ever wondered why we bothered to go on. I wrote back to him that we must not give satisfaction to those who want to see us dead. But I did not hear from him again.
It is good to know that he died in his sleep, with the classical music he loved so much drifting through the room, his dog on the bed, his ex-wife and friend Suzanne there (it was at her home), and children from his first marriage (he had two sons, two daughters). His son Bill said that, according to the doctors, he died of something called Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. Words that mean nothing. He continued to smoke until about a month ago, when the small black stone no longer allowed him to do so. It is as if the small black stone, like Cubby himself, was tired.
He was a great man. He was a beautiful man. He was a wise man. He lived life. He endured life. He renewed the lives of so many. He was a source of light and love and strength. I don't know what more to say.
Nick Tosches-
For those of you who don't know, he wrote 'Requiem for a Dream', 'Last Exit to Brooklyn', 'The Demon', 'Song of the Silent Snow', as well as others.
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You're kidding, I'm Afghanistan!?!
In the words of Bob Dylan, you "haven't known peace and quiet
in so long [you] don't remember what it's like!" Sad but true. Boss
after boss has led you around, using you for their nefarious purposes, and dumping you
when the time was right. You've hurt and been hurt and now you're just sick and tired.
When will people leave you alone and let you do your own thing? But you
don't really even know what you want anymore.
Take the Country Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid
The last line is the best, i feel. Really brings out my 'true' self.
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for those of you innocent, perhaps you can explain...
http://kudatroya.blogspot.com
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Meet 'Sophie':
TINK is baby sitting this ridiculously cute drop-kick dog for a few days. It has decided, as you can clearly see, to take up residence in my lap. She whines and yips if i set her down. When i go to sleep she runs circles on my chest till she gets comfortable.
And the stares i get when i take this thing for a walk.
I have inadvertently become one of 'those' women.
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Johnny Law is a Dick
...but you knew that already.
Yesterday around 9am i decided to hike it out for cigarettes. As i am leaving the complex through the people gate, a sheriffs car is pulling up to the car gate trying to get inside. He can't get in, something wrong with the code they gave him, so he calls out to me to give him the code. I am perhaps 30 feet from his car. I stop tell him and keep moving. He yells out that he can't hear me, which i know he can, but i walk closer to his vehicle, again saying the code. Again he claims he can't hear me. Again i walk closer, again i tell him, again he says he can't hear me. I say fuck it, to myself, and walk up to his car. He asks me what my name is, not the code to the gate again. I tell him and he responds by saying 'hold on'. He reaches over to his seat and picks up a pile of warrants and begins sorting throught them. I have a minor heart attack. He doesn't find one with my name on it and tells me i can go. Then he punches in the code and drives inside.
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i read the NY time article on the poor guy they beheaded (by sawing it off with a KNIFE).
War is evil. Both sides are the devil.
go HERE
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The world is being torn apart.
Ok, not really. But Bunny and i are on exactly the same page, just differet geographic states as of tomorrow.
I've decided in lieu of my failure of attaining a posistion in A-lax-ka as a fisherman/deckhand that my journies shall now take me away from the oceans and into the mid-west.
I've decided to hook with pacoblue in the fair city of Sioux Falls, S.D. I figure it's time to now get the 'at some point in time in my life i need to live in the mid-west' phase out of the way, as if there really is such a thing. And if there is, someone needs to be shot for putting the idea in my head.
Also, i will be working for the devil, being a collections agent, so better pay those bills or your unfriendly neighborhood katzinjammer will be calling. Actually, don't pay. We'll talk and catch up on old times...
I told myself my stay in GA would end around the begining of summer. I intend to stay the course despite the wind that blows me off.
So, i'll do that. As for he next step, well, that's the wonderful part about being somebody like Bunny and I.
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happy mother's day
8-21-44/2-12-94
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Last night was the shoot for the video.I had woking up late Thursday night to finish props and by the time i was done it was time to leave.
Rob picked me up and together we drove down to Union City where the deer and the rednecks play. The set was a hotel room (genius right? original, right?). Griff had shown up early to set lights, and we pretty much had the set dressed and began shooting around 9:30 am. I still haven't had any sleep by this point and managed to catch my third, fourth, fifth, (and so forth) wind throughout the rest of the night.
So. Forty shots in less than 7 hours. We kick ass.
The props were genius and worked brilliantly. i'm glad the guys liked them, even though i don't really like the band.
i really don't want to write more about this.
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| I am the Ideal Lover Most people have dreams in their youth that get shattered or worn down with age. They find themselves disappointed by people, events, reality, which cannot match their youthful ideals. Ideal Lovers thrive on people's broken dreams which become lifelong fantasies. You long for romance? Adventure? Lofty spiritual communion? The Ideal Lover reflects your fantasy. He or she is an artist creating the illusion you require. In a world of disenchantment and baseness, there is limitliess seductive power in following the path of the Ideal Lover. Symbol: The Portrait Painter. Under his eye, all of your physical imperfections disappear. He brings out noble qualities in you, frames you in a myth, makes you godlike, immortalises you. For his ability to create such fantasies, he is rewarded with great power. |
What Type of Seducer are You?
created by
polite_society that's right motherfucker. come one, come all...
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(for some reason the above banner ad keeps advertising the pearl harbor soundtrack)
i hate these props.
6:30 in the morning and i have to take a break before... i just need a break. I'm almost out of smokes, so if somebody could email me one, i'd appreciate it, thanks.
So i came home today to find the dogs ass had blown up all over the floor surrounding the PC. Fucker did that on purpose, i swear. Like he was playing GI JOE and i had to cross the landmines.
Now i'm outta smokes. the craving is kicking in. must... get... cancer...
turned down from some Alaska jobs.
Am i going after all?
TINK does KITTY PORN without the presence of TRUEBOY.
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pacoblue,
why can you do,
no HTML?
(the grammar is incorrect on purpose, fuckers. i.e. greek and rob)
Two things i missed this week. One is a two part. I missed Bunny, obviously, but i also missed Coachella. She seems to have had fun. Check her buzznet.
The next was Cinco De Moustache. I had planned a nifty pic for you guys and just lost track of the day.
Actually, i didn't lose track of time. I'm dealing with the smiley face from hell. See, we shoot friday. And as i've said, my job is ETC. That also includes prop builder. And one of the props is a big ol' giant smilry face.
That's right. As soon as i'm done i'll send it your way. Maybe MidnightMailman wants a crack at it next?
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chrishassiotis: kyle should dress as you for halloween
bunny mc: i have an oakland booty
bunny mc: OH MY GOD
bunny mc: that would rule.
bunny mc: but he has to dress as mega man, and we all know it.
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I try very hard to not make friends at work. Not to say that i am not friendly, or that i am not social at work, but people i work with i leave at work. Those who suffer the restaurant scene can understand why.
But some people you just can't help.
And then i was fired because my girl at the time discovered my boss was a drag queen (she sold make-up)(he didn't want his dad to know)(scandal).
Regardless i rediscovered James the other day on LJ. This kid is awesome. He introduced me to houseofleaves as well as TechnoButcher 1 & 2. How could i not appreciate this guy?
And this guy still grinds it out at the R.T.
pacoblue and i chat 86 in IM, but i'll spare you in light of the last novel i posted.
And what is it with LJ? I don't trust a blog you have to pay for, cause the free LJ ain't worth it.
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ANTI and KATZINJAMMER talk shit;
On the weather and sunburns...
...jailybrokenstein: no, i haven't heard anything from her
jailybrokenstein: how come you're not there?
BigBadAnti: that shit's expensive!
BigBadAnti: plus
BigBadAnti: i hate sun
jailybrokenstein: that hot?
BigBadAnti: dude
BigBadAnti: like THAT hot
BigBadAnti: like worse than that hot
jailybrokenstein: man, it's nice here, overcast, around 70...
jailybrokenstein: nice breeze
BigBadAnti: i'm sitting in a AC filled house, my cousin's house, but outside, it's like over 100
jailybrokenstein: but it will suck soon
BigBadAnti: and this ain't even the hot part
jailybrokenstein: you're in LA right?
BigBadAnti: ally is in the straight up vulture cactus and dirt dessert
BigBadAnti: yes.
jailybrokenstein: she's fucked
jailybrokenstein: heh
BigBadAnti: yah, her skin looked pale too
BigBadAnti: like the kind that just catches on fire from the sun
jailybrokenstein: it's always pale
BigBadAnti: ow
jailybrokenstein: man, can't wait to see her
jailybrokenstein: OW OW OW OW, dont' touch me
BigBadAnti: sunburn pics!
jailybrokenstein: yes
BigBadAnti: she's prolly rocking some awesome tan lines already!
BigBadAnti: "here's where i had my camera strap"
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On traveling, film, racism, and tyranny...
...jailybrokenstein: you ever been out here? ATL?
jailybrokenstein: seriously...
BigBadAnti: so i was trying to control my destiney enough to where at least i died fast
jailybrokenstein: awesome
BigBadAnti: never been
BigBadAnti: i been to FL
jailybrokenstein: if you;re going to die, make it quick
BigBadAnti: but not GA or NC or any of those other ones
jailybrokenstein: not missing much
BigBadAnti: that's what they say
BigBadAnti: i say everyone just come here.
BigBadAnti: some guy asked me in my comments how i get ppl to fly out to visit me
jailybrokenstein: it's hard to get people form here to there
jailybrokenstein: they all want to go to NY
BigBadAnti: i'm like, "yo it ain't ME"
BigBadAnti: "it's LA, baby..."
jailybrokenstein: I have a love hate thing with LA
BigBadAnti: that's very common i think.
BigBadAnti: ppl love to hate it.
jailybrokenstein: whats funny is the outsiders perception of LA
jailybrokenstein: like bad 80's movies
BigBadAnti: yah! i know
BigBadAnti: like ghost busters... that's really how NYC is...
jailybrokenstein: heh
BigBadAnti: but they can never do an LA movie right
BigBadAnti: the big lebowski is the closest i've seen
jailybrokenstein: at least they come close
jailybrokenstein: we get shit like drumline and FLED
jailybrokenstein: awful
jailybrokenstein: and then all that gonewiththewind shit
BigBadAnti: hah!
BigBadAnti: serious
jailybrokenstein: that bitches house has burned down 3
times now and they still carry on like it the original
BigBadAnti: HAHHAH
BigBadAnti: that'
BigBadAnti: s hilarious
jailybrokenstein: yeah
jailybrokenstein: we get the greats like TED turner, lousy ass braves,etc
BigBadAnti: that reminds me
jailybrokenstein: and no fucking riots
BigBadAnti: there's a laker game on
jailybrokenstein: ever
BigBadAnti: yah i was too young to loot
BigBadAnti: unfortunaltey
jailybrokenstein: man...
BigBadAnti: looters = geniuses
jailybrokenstein: i've been waiting for my time to come
jailybrokenstein: need some new shit
jailybrokenstein: the cops go after a black guy here and do they go after the cops? no
jailybrokenstein: they go for the poor white boy when he's walking to his car at 5am
BigBadAnti: it's extremely racist here.
jailybrokenstein: LA?
BigBadAnti: this one town el segundo had a sign up that read, "no coons out at night" very recently on a main drag
jailybrokenstein: oh shit
BigBadAnti: the beach cities are racist
BigBadAnti: if you're black stay east of the 405
BigBadAnti: or they're gonns bend you ass over and try and fuck you as hard as they can
BigBadAnti: cuz they're racist
BigBadAnti: the only good nigger is a rich nigger
BigBadAnti: or sothey say
jailybrokenstein: i didn't even think they knew what a 'coon' was out there
jailybrokenstein: thats fucked
BigBadAnti: hahahahha
BigBadAnti: i derno
jailybrokenstein: my experience in LA was whitey vs mexican
BigBadAnti: yah
BigBadAnti: really it's the black vs. the mexicans
BigBadAnti: and they just agree to hate the whitey
jailybrokenstein: hilarious
jailybrokenstein: come together
BigBadAnti: they all like me though
BigBadAnti: i'm like.... an embassador
jailybrokenstein: or an employer
BigBadAnti: heh
BigBadAnti: embassador sounds more bad ass
jailybrokenstein: definately
jailybrokenstein: all hail EMPLOYER ANTI
jailybrokenstein: naw
BigBadAnti: i better check on those lousy dreggs soon
jailybrokenstein: go embassador
BigBadAnti: i hope i don't have to fire anyone
BigBadAnti: they get fired forstupid shit
jailybrokenstein: like dropping the sign?
BigBadAnti: or sleeping drunk next to the sign
jailybrokenstein: pick that fucker up!
jailybrokenstein: you say...
BigBadAnti: i just honk, and make the hand gesture
BigBadAnti: they know what the fuck it means
BigBadAnti: the get up hand gesture, like you're bouncing an imaginary ball in your hand
jailybrokenstein: they ever throw a sign at you?
BigBadAnti: no
BigBadAnti: i have hammers and a truck
BigBadAnti: don't mess with a sign guy
jailybrokenstein: right
jailybrokenstein: got it
BigBadAnti: heh
jailybrokenstein: is it the type of sign you wear or hold?
BigBadAnti: hold.
BigBadAnti: it's an 8 foot sign that we attach to a stick
jailybrokenstein: how tech advanced!
BigBadAnti: with arrows, and double sided, and flags, and in AZ we even put on umbrellas to block the sun
jailybrokenstein: which you hate
BigBadAnti: yes.
jailybrokenstein: the sun
BigBadAnti: well yah, but i hate being overly nice to signwalkers
jailybrokenstein: they are afterall sign walkers
BigBadAnti: they are like tools in my tool chest.
BigBadAnti: if a hammer wasn't working up to speed.... you toss it, and get a new better one.
jailybrokenstein: do you have that one trusty signwalker?
BigBadAnti: oh yah
BigBadAnti: we have abunch that kick ass and are regulars
jailybrokenstein: like the one guy "Now HE knows how to walk a fucking sign!"
BigBadAnti: totally
BigBadAnti: that's ron
jailybrokenstein: ...ron...
BigBadAnti: we give him a bonus everytime
jailybrokenstein: ron the signwalker = awesome
BigBadAnti: he literrly hold the shit high up over his head for the WHOLE 8 hours
BigBadAnti: i couldn't even hold just my hand over my head for 8 hours
BigBadAnti: and definitely not whilst standing
BigBadAnti: in.... (gasp) the sun
jailybrokenstein: a man to look up to
BigBadAnti: nah
BigBadAnti: he's just tweakin
BigBadAnti: fuckin glass heads
jailybrokenstein: i bet
jailybrokenstein: they are holding signs for a living
BigBadAnti: yep.
BigBadAnti: sad life.
jailybrokenstein: but if i were there i'd look you up for a job
BigBadAnti: serious?
jailybrokenstein: i still have none
BigBadAnti: well right on man
jailybrokenstein: the town i'm in hates tattooed people
BigBadAnti: oh
BigBadAnti: one of those
jailybrokenstein: Southern Baptisit
jailybrokenstein: i think i fucked up somewhere
BigBadAnti: like not realizng the train said, "last stop GA..."
jailybrokenstein: ATL is cool, Athens is cool, anywhere else w/in 200 miles not cool
jailybrokenstein: and yes
jailybrokenstein: the train thing
jailybrokenstein: i should reconsider....
---------------------------------------------
On crimes, age, and dirty old men...
...jailybrokenstein: any of the sign guys get arrested ?
BigBadAnti: yep
jailybrokenstein: the ones that hold?
BigBadAnti: my cousin has two strikes
BigBadAnti: and he runs the business
BigBadAnti: he spent like 2 years i think in some federal prison in buckeye arizona
jailybrokenstein: for crimes against sign holding?
BigBadAnti: no for violent crimes
BigBadAnti: he was a crazy youngter
BigBadAnti: (i guess?)
jailybrokenstein: curious. how old are you?
BigBadAnti: 25
BigBadAnti: welp... 25 this june.
jailybrokenstein: 27 this may
BigBadAnti: right on
BigBadAnti: i thought you were older for some reason
BigBadAnti: like already past the big 3 to the 0
jailybrokenstein: baldness
BigBadAnti: nah
jailybrokenstein: fools everyone
BigBadAnti: i think it was the coffee cup
BigBadAnti: ;-)
jailybrokenstein: thanks
jailybrokenstein: heh
jailybrokenstein: if i were i'd be robbing the cradle with ally
BigBadAnti: everyone thinks i am much younger than i am
jailybrokenstein: dirty old man style
BigBadAnti: i wanna be a dirty old man!
BigBadAnti: when i'm old, at least.
jailybrokenstein: i can't wait till i'm 60+
jailybrokenstein: canes with mirrors
BigBadAnti: i like em youngggggggggg
jailybrokenstein: bankrool on strippers
BigBadAnti: niiice
jailybrokenstein: don't we all?
BigBadAnti: yes. yes we all do.
BigBadAnti: and if ya don't
BigBadAnti: yer a freak!
jailybrokenstein: woman have expiration dates
BigBadAnti: sucks fer them!
BigBadAnti: hah
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I'm an asshole. My Athens roommates are moving this weekend into their new home, signifying the end (?) of my stay up there.
I'm an asshole because i still owe a hundred or so for bills, and i wasn't there to help them move, regardless of the fact that i still have no car, or no money for that matter either. This isn't something they say about me, i'm saying it about myself.
There are other reasons for my condition. I am not going into those right now.
Earlier, maybe two Fridays ago, i posted about having seen MAN ON FIRE. You might even remember some of it. Regardless, in the post, thematically, i should have mentioned the time i saw my friend become a human fireball. It just works.
So here it is. My old friend Blair (i haven't seen nor spoken to him in 14-15 years), a crazy insane child's game, and a flaming tennis ball.
I still lived in LA at the time, i think perhaps i was 11, maybe twelve years old. My mother was a single mom, worked a ton with little to show for it, and as such had moved us to a shitty apartment complex in Saugus. The neighborhood was filled with kids with families similar to my own. We were young and had zero supervision. Since most of my friends had defeated Ganon in Zelda, we were also bored.
Next to the complex we had a 'wash' a term we used to refer to the Los Angeles Flash Flood Control valleys that stretch throughout the area (if you've seen GREASE or TERMINATOR 2 then you should know what i'm talking about). It was in those we played like fools. You could find anything you wanted in there, MADMAX. Shopping carts, tadpoles, busted up bikes, a homeless guy or two, rebutt cigarettes, snakes, bottles to break against the walls, or on your friends, tunnels to explore on foot or with skateboard, and etc etc.
You could also find generous amounts of racket balls and tennis balls. Fuck the racket balls, you couldn't set those on fire.
Own a copy of Anarchists Cookbook. Get ideas in your impressionable mind. Take your friend's dad, steal the dad's 93 octane racing fuel, add egg whites and stir. Now you have gelled gasoline. Take a bucket. Pour into said bucket paint thinner. Put in tennis ball. Allow ball, with it's fabric like shell, to soak in paint thinner. Remove ball, coat with laundry detergent. Take knife, slit open tennis ball. Fill with gelled gasoline. Get all your friends, about 20 all together, to meet in the alley. Make sure you are all wearing shorts.Have brave, older highschool kid to stand at one end while you and your pals are at the other. Have older kid ignite tennis ball, then kick it into the herd. Try then to keep that thing away from you using your legs only. If you don't participate, you're hamburger.
This worked fine on so many sessions. Why the ball, filled with such flammable liquids and such, decided to spray fire all over Blair, the older high school kid, is beyond me.
But man did we laugh. "Stop drop and roll!"
Even from a distance of 50 yards or so we could vapor trails.
Ah, don't worry. He was fine, sort of. His hair grew back fine.
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Thursday, April 15, 2004
ME: (To shrink) Yeah, my parents just want the customer service.
SHRINK: WHAT?
ME: You know, the customer service. You tell them you're sorry and then explain how you're going to fix things, even if you don't really mean it. It's what they want to hear.
SHRINK: Where did you come up woth that?
ME: I just made it up. That's what it is isn't it.
SHRINK: (To my dad) Well I can't say that you have an unintelligent daughter.
# posted by Miranda @ 7:13 PM
makes me want to go to a shrink with my parents.
MIRANDA
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having someone host for you is awesome.
thanks M@
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M@ gave himself a facelift.
thePerilsofbeingin3D
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